


My Lord

by Drel_Murn



Series: This Is My Hope [2]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Aftermath, Gen, Meaning of Life, Religion, Spirits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-14
Updated: 2017-01-14
Packaged: 2018-09-17 12:48:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9324266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drel_Murn/pseuds/Drel_Murn
Summary: My heart tells me that for all the power in the world, this being is still my friend.





	

I saw it - the moment my best friend was swept away to be something more. He looked utterly different before my eyes, though had you asked me to tell you how so in that moment, I wouldn’t have been able. Shalim was still lying there in the dirt, and covered in it.

 

Then he moved, and it was obvious that he was nothing human. Manik cheers his triumph behind me, but my eyes do not waver from the form of the being before me.

 

“Lord Shalim,” Manik says, and I know that he is bowing.

 

_ I should bow as well, _ I note, my head knowing the fact in the way Shalim is stiller than any man can be. I can almost see the aura of a greater spirit around the being before me, I can see the way his eyes know so much more now, and logic dictates that I should bow.

 

My heart sees the scene differently. My heart sees that for all his stillness, he still breathes. My heart reminds me that knowledge is not distance. My heart tells me that for all the power in the world, this being is still my friend.

 

(It’s only when I meet Ryung, years later that I remember. Spirits always wear masks. In all the times I ever see Shalim he is maskless.)

 

Then he moves, dragging the spirit who had caused so much trouble to her feet and addressing me.

 

“Avani. Should my parents ask, it’s too late. I stood and I bled indigo skies.”

 

“I’ll tell them.”

 

He talks first to Manik, then to the spirit being he brought to life, before he leaves as I roll the words he gave to me over my tongue.

 

Neither Manik nor I really move as we look out at the sea. Shadows lengthen. Blue turns to orange, then gives way to the satin indigo of dusk. We finally stirred ourselves upon full darkness, with Lady Tui’s moon shining high above.

 

We carefully made ourselves a campfire, and we huddled beside it as we watched the moon and stars make their way across the sky. The next morning, with the sun coloring the could before us red, we descended from the peak and made our way down to the small village that could be seen from where we were.

 

Life went on.

 

Manik and I parted way as he went to report back to his mother, and I went looking for Niyakedo to tell her we had succeeded. I found her with Hiatsu, living together with much of the crew on one of the smaller islands and trying to scrape together enough money for anyone who wanted to return to the trading business. With the news, the woman Ilesh considered his aunt crumbled under her own weariness for a moment before she pulled herself back together and thnaked me for the news. I stayed with her long enough to help her earn the rest of the money to get her crew back to someplace that knew them.

 

I found that the journey I took had affected me in small ways as I worked my own way across the Fire Islands. I’d never actually put aside to to pray before or now, but when the horizon starts to turn some color other than the bright blue of day, I always find myself outside, watching the sun go down and thinking. If I passed a temple to Shalim, I entered it and left a prayer. In expressions, in faith, I drifted from the automatic phrases of my youth, from looking down and asking for blessings and guidance from Lady Kun, to letting the word drift from my lips to the sky as I asked then Sun Setter what he thought.

 

I stayed on the endless sea of sand that I spent  half of my life knowing for an endless month, with two ostrich camels that had practically run me over the moment I stepped onto the shore of the mainland. Jigme accepts me back with the relief I wish I could give the despondent Jaya. It’s only after that, when I meet the first of the tribes to have crept out of the caves that I reluctantly admit that I no longer belong here. Something had imbued me with a wanderlust, with a love for not knowing where I am when I wake up.

 

I travel first north, but soon, I am on another ship to the west, and on the Fire Islands, I learn to fight as well as any human can, alongside boys and girls who will protect their villages. Then I return to the land of Lady Kun, and I dress in the most comfortable clothes I can find. It’s a shock, the first time, the second time, someone calls me boy, but then I weigh the term and learn to use it as well as fans I keep. I use it, and I fight, and in the end of the day, I find that I have created my own style out of a refusal to set down my fans as soon as I have learned all I will ever known by pretending to be someone I am not.

 

I secretly tech women as I follow the coast north, showing them how to defend themselves, and having the willing practice. When I reach Luse’s mouth, I set out for the fir islands once again, out of nostalgia. On Tsuribari, I wander down a street filled with temple in an absent search for one dedicated to Shalim. I enter the temple when I see it - slightly surprised by the dual altars - and I pause when I see him.

 

“Manik.”

 

The priest turn from the incense he’d been lighting to regard me with surprise.

 

“Avani.”

 

We hadn’t really known each other at all. I remember the days before I was kidnapped, but he apparently was made to think I was a meerkat rabbit, and after that there was no time to be more than acquaintances. I glance beyond him at the shrine to Shalim, and I’m no longer surprised at the sight of my friend’s face painted on the paper scroll, rather than the mask I used to see.

 

(I wonder sometimes, if I was the only one to see him. I wonder if Niyakedo still saw Dusk’s mask, if Aparajita and Sesi saw their son in the masks used by actors.)

 

“Niyakedo came. She says that she told his . . . parents what happened,” Manik says, flicking his wrist to put out the stick he’d used to light the incense.

 

“That’s good,” I say, watching as he shifts and stands.

 

“Did you . . .” Manik looks at me uncomfortably, “Did you come to prey, or because you heard I was here?”

 

“I came to prey,” I reply, and while he hides the relief on his face well enough, I still see it as he nods and moves towards the curtain.

 

“I’ll be in the other room if you need me.”

 

I settle down onto my knees after I heard the sound of the hanging curtain to Lady Kun’s altar move, and I look up at the painted image. I barely remember what Shalim’s mask is supposed to look like by now, and I let my thoughts wander as they always do.

 

I shake my head a while later, and push myself to my feet. There’s a while off to lunch, but I hadn’t intended to stay this long. I still need to find a place to stable Jaya and Jigme, and a place to sleep for the night. When I pass though the hanging curtain of carved wooden beads, Manik looks up.

 

“Do you have anywhere to stay the night?”

 

My eyebrows go up slightly, but I shake my head to indicate the negative as he sets aside the shirt he had been mending.

 

“You could stay here if you want. I have a stable, even.”

 

“Why do you think I need one?” I ask.

 

“It wasn’t hard to recognise Jaya and Jigme. Ostrich camels are rather rare outside of the desert.”

 

“Then yes. It would be -” I search for a word. Not really an honor or a pleasure, “ - a nice opportunity to catch up.”

 

Together, we go out and stable to two ostrich camels. I help him prepare a lunch for those who need a free lunch, and come noon, I listen to him lead the prayer, his congregation echoing his words. Some of them are unsure on the part where he calls upon Shalim, but they follow along easily enough. Some of the people leave right after, but many linger to talk and eat the lunches they brought with them. A few disappear into the kitchen for the lunch we prepared, but most stay in the bigger room, now that the entryway is temporarily joined with the altar dedicated to Lady Kun.

 

I find myself slipping into the smaller room - the one dedicated to Shalim - and looking up at the painting on the wall. It’s only ink, colors are expensive, but it’s rich enough to properly represent the island’s wealth.

 

Someone slips in, but I don’t move.

 

“How do you see him?” Manik asks me.

 

“Well, I’ve almost forgotten what his mask is supposed to look like, if that’s what you mean.”

 

Breath whooshes out.

 

“I have to look at his brothers to remind myself.”

  
It’s a comfort, to know. It’ nice to know that I’m not alone.


End file.
